💕Dear Dr. Cupid: “I don’t want to put us through the loneliness of long distance”

Julia Hanson, Editor-in-Chief

Disclaimer: This advice column is for entertainment purposes and no part of it should be taken seriously. Dr. Cupid is not a professional or an actual, certified Doctor. All submissions are completely anonymous.

Dear Dr. Cupid, 

I’m conflicted. I made things official with my significant other recently but next year we will be facing the distance of college 15 hours away from each other. I’m worried that getting into a relationship now, knowing I’ll be leaving in a few months, will stop me from allowing the relationship to reach its fullest potential. Having the mindset that we’re going to break up throughout the rest of the semester and summer makes me wonder if it will be meaningful or just ‘fun while it lasts.’

Also, because I’m so far away, I’m not sure how often I’ll be able to see them in person because I know I’ll be busy. Our relationship is still new and I don’t want to put them or myself through the loneliness and hassle of long distance. What if I go to school and meet someone else or realize that long distance isn’t working? If that’s the case, would I have no other choice but to break up with them over text because face-to-face isn’t possible? 

The worst part about it all– we haven’t explicitly discussed any of this. The emotional aspect of our relationship hasn’t exactly developed yet and I’m afraid that once it starts to, I’ll be leaving. I’m not sure how invested I am right now so is it worth considering long-distance? We’re really different people and we’ve had different experiences with relationships in the past. Ugh, I hate being a veteran. What should I do? 

From, Second Semester Senior

Dear Second Semester Senior (or should I say ‘Veteran’?),

What a timeless issue. However, most couples that consider long distance before college typically find comfort and hope in their sureness and love for each other. You, on the other hand, seem somewhat unsure of your relationship right now and six months from now. 

You said it yourself, you’re questioning your investment. You recognize your differences and the hiccups that could come with long distance. I think, if anything, this is a positive thing and an exciting way to finish out your high school years. Personally, I worry more for the teens who are so head over heels for their significant other and can’t imagine a life or college experience without them. College is about finding independence. 

You seem like a person who’s both self-aware and careful of others’ feelings, so I say ride it out and have fun. Spend time with this person that you’re attracted to. Teenagers forget that this time in their lives isn’t about finding the one but instead enjoying the casual, exciting, and innocent relationships in life. Never again will you be 18 and in a lighthearted relationship with an expiration date. If you think about it, you’ll be gone before the honeymoon phase is over and I think that will make for a memorable summer. 

But, Veteran, absolutely do not forget this one thing. Make sure you’re on the same page about this casualty. If this person expects a summer of serious commitment and a long-distance relationship of daily calls to follow, do not treat them like a fling. Although it may be uncomfortable, step one is discussing this with your significant other and coming to some sort of agreement, whatever that looks like. And you’ll probably need to talk about it again a few weeks later, and another handful of times after that. Communicate with your significant other. 

So, is it worth considering long distance? It’s definitely worth an honest conversation. Beyond that, it seems you’ve already answered that question for yourself. Is it worth staying together for the duration of the semester and summer? If this person brings you joy, I say absolutely. It seems like this person will likely end up a memory, so make it a good one. 

Love, Dr. Cupid💋