It’s time to forgive and forget your freshman self
May 15, 2018
In an everyday conversation in Mr. Murphy’s AP Biology class, Zoe Reynolds, who I love, told me if she sat next to me freshman year she would’ve never talked to me. Initially it seemed offensive, but I don’t disagree with her.
Freshman year I thought I was the best person in the room and walked around like I was untouchable. I had my plan set out: play softball and volleyball, try out for speech, try out for the musical and do choir to continue the music I loved so much in middle school. There was not a doubt in my mind that I would stray off of this path.
I can’t really explain why every extracurricular I chose seemed to take me farther off my path I wrote out in eighth grade, and truly I didn’t notice it until my junior year. However, I know that the activities I became a part of shaped me into the person I am today.
As I sat at deadline I watched staff members walk in from theater rehearsal, speech rehearsal and my co-advisor walk in from softball practice. How did I abandon all of my previous passions and curiosities to go play a sport with no recognition and produce a newspaper desperate for readers? For a long time I felt very insecure when asked that question, or the less blunt equivalent. It was a valid question; I was not one to sit behind a by-line or play a sport with no spectators, but somehow that became who I was.
It no longer bothers me when people ask me about my change in interests. Usually the response is something along the lines of “I changed my mind and the rest is history.” I used to be disappointed that I didn’t meet my expectations, but expectations I set four years ago shouldn’t prevent me from validation now.
Badminton, journalism and other activities taught me discipline, hard work and self confidence. I didn’t need to feel like I was the best in the room to be comfortable anymore. I learned how to accept my faults and move on.
I won’t be the first to say people change throughout high school, but it’s worth mentioning that your opinion of people should change throughout high school. Hopefully Zoe agrees with this, as now we have matching friendship bracelets.