šDear Dr. Cupid: “I don’t want to put us through the loneliness of long distance”
January 23, 2023
Disclaimer: This advice column is for entertainment purposes and no part of it should be taken seriously. Dr. Cupid is not a professional or an actual, certified Doctor. All submissions are completely anonymous.
Dear Dr. Cupid,Ā
I’m conflicted. I made things official with my significant other recently but next year we will be facing the distance of college 15 hours away from each other. Iām worried that getting into a relationship now, knowing Iāll be leaving in a few months, will stop me from allowing the relationship to reach its fullest potential. Having the mindset that weāre going to break up throughout the rest of the semester and summer makes me wonder if it will be meaningful or just āfun while it lasts.ā
Also, because Iām so far away, Iām not sure how often Iāll be able to see them in person because I know Iāll be busy. Our relationship is still new and I donāt want to put them or myself through the loneliness and hassle of long distance. What if I go to school and meet someone else or realize that long distance isnāt working? If thatās the case, would I have no other choice but to break up with them over text because face-to-face isnāt possible?Ā
The worst part about it allā we havenāt explicitly discussed any of this. The emotional aspect of our relationship hasnāt exactly developed yet and Iām afraid that once it starts to, Iāll be leaving. Iām not sure how invested I am right now so is it worth considering long-distance? Weāre really different people and weāve had different experiences with relationships in the past. Ugh, I hate being a veteran. What should I do?Ā
From, Second Semester Senior
Dear Second Semester Senior (or should I say āVeteranā?),
What a timeless issue. However, most couples that consider long distance before college typically find comfort and hope in their sureness and love for each other. You, on the other hand, seem somewhat unsure of your relationship right now and six months from now.Ā
You said it yourself, youāre questioning your investment. You recognize your differences and the hiccups that could come with long distance. I think, if anything, this is a positive thing and an exciting way to finish out your high school years. Personally, I worry more for the teens who are so head over heels for their significant other and canāt imagine a life or college experience without them. College is about finding independence.Ā
You seem like a person whoās both self-aware and careful of othersā feelings, so I say ride it out and have fun. Spend time with this person that youāre attracted to. Teenagers forget that this time in their lives isnāt about finding the one but instead enjoying the casual, exciting, and innocent relationships in life. Never again will you be 18 and in a lighthearted relationship with an expiration date. If you think about it, youāll be gone before the honeymoon phase is over and I think that will make for a memorable summer.Ā
But, Veteran, absolutely do not forget this one thing. Make sure youāre on the same page about this casualty. If this person expects a summer of serious commitment and a long-distance relationship of daily calls to follow, do not treat them like a fling. Although it may be uncomfortable, step one is discussing this with your significant other and coming to some sort of agreement, whatever that looks like. And youāll probably need to talk about it again a few weeks later, and another handful of times after that. Communicate with your significant other.Ā
So, is it worth considering long distance? Itās definitely worth an honest conversation. Beyond that, it seems youāve already answered that question for yourself. Is it worth staying together for the duration of the semester and summer? If this person brings you joy, I say absolutely. It seems like this person will likely end up a memory, so make it a good one.Ā
Love, Dr. Cupidš