Another Super Bowl has come and gone, and instead of discussing the actual game, I thought it would be a good idea to rate all 60 commercials that were aired DURING the game. Obviously there is certain criteria a Super Bowl ad has to follow (It can’t just be a boring daytime TV commercial), so the standards are higher than usual. 

Jason alexander as a sweatshirt  (Tide) 

The face of “Seinfeld” star Jason Alexander on a sweatshirt isn’t the best idea for a commercial, especially since it’s last episode was 23 years ago. Nonetheless, still pretty funny. C+

Dolly Parton 5-9 (Squarespace) 

Not extremely catchy, but a good spin-off of Parton’s hit song “9-5,” plus a good message to anyone chasing their dreams. C

“Wasn’t me” (Cheetos) 

Without a doubt one of my favorite commercials of the game. A great song with lyrics that fit perfectly and two great actors in Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis (Not to mention Shaggy’s bars). A+

John Trevalta and TikTok (Miracle Grow) 

A reference to the younger generation, Travolta and his daughter make a TikTok to prove you can do anything on a good lawn. Plus a Cameo from Leslie David Baker (Stanley from the office) makes this a great commercial. A-

Are you happy? (Michelob Ultra) 

Great athletes, great music, great message. Michelob nailed this heartwarming ad. A-

Don Cheadle and stunt doubles (Michelob Ultra) 

They didn’t really nail this one, however. Too much going on with stunt doubles.. C

Matthew McCanaughey as flat Stanley (Doritos) 

Doritos always makes their ads weird as well as funny and this one was no different. Matthew McCanaughey being a 2D character while Dorito promoted their “3D” chip made a lot of sense. A

Wayne’s World and Cardi B (Uber Eats) 

Love the movie, but something about old men wearing too much makeup is disturbing. Not to mention them and Cardi B making a TikTok to an annoying “eat local” song wasn’t great. Seemed like they just tried too much. C-

Michael B Jordan as Alexa (Amazon) 

Super Bowl commercials are supposed to be funny, inspirational, or even sometimes, informative. Amazon didn’t do any of that and really just made me cringe. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m a guy. D+

Amy Schumer as a mayo angel (Hellmans Mayo) 

I don’t really understand why Hellmans had to advertise their mayonnaise during the Super Bowl, especially since half of the people watching the ad wouldn’t come near it. C-

Bud Light Avengers

Usually I love the Bud Light commercials, but this year it felt a little underwhelming. Sure, there was Post Malone and the “Dilly Dilly” knight, but it just didn’t feel the same. C

Lemon year (Bud Light) 

THIS was the Bud Light ad that we wanted. Our first commercial where we made fun of 2020 and they hit it out of the park. Great analogy with the lemons while at the same time promoting their lemonade seltzer.  A

Lil Baby “follow your dreams”  (Rockstar Energy) 

Never would have thought that Rockstar Energy could get someone like Lil Baby to do an ad-read for them, but here we are. B

‘Twas the night before the Super Bowl (Lays) 

So many NFL legends just for a potato chip ad, but props to Lays. Not to mention Marshawn Lynch was the best person to commentate it. A-

Lenny Kravitz singing (Stella Artois) 

Not much to it; a good message but just kind of a bland commercial, especially when other alcohol companies are hitting it out of the park. C

Can a burrito change the world? (Chipotle) 

Don’t get me wrong, promoting your fresh ingredients is a solid promotion but having a little kid talk about how a burrito can change the world just isn’t worth it. C-

M&M “sorry” commercial 

A great ad with funny problems like “mansplaining” and “over-the-top gender reveals” just to say sorry by giving them M&M’s, brilliant. B+ 

Releasing the Clydesdales (Sam Adams) 

Since Budweiser and their signature Clydesdale horses didn’t run an ad this year, Sam Adams decided to take a subtle shot at them by having a guy release them into the streets of Boston. Nothing wrong with a little competition. B

Stranding astronauts (Pringles)

Pringles has been pushing the “stack ‘em” strategy for a while now and this commercial was the best out of all of them. A-

John Cena and Lil’ Dicky (Mountain Dew) 

Usually Mountain Dew goes for a Dorito-like commercial, but this year they decided to do more of a promo. Simply put, I was not a fan. Cameos from John Cena and Lil Dicky made it a bit better. though. C

The struggle of car dealerships (Vroom.com) 

Vroom.com is a company I’ve never heard of, but they did a great job showing what it feels like to be at a car dealership. Solid B

Selling your items using Mercari (Mercari) 

The Super Bowl is a game for companies to go BIG on their advertisements. Mercari decided to air a commercial that wouldn’t even get my attention on daytime TV. F

Ford “Finish Strong”   

Ford doesn’t usually go with funny ads, and this year was no different. Nonetheless, the #finishstrong movement is awesome and all around a great, inspirational commercial. A

Fiver and four seasons 

This commercial was one of the more confusing ones. Marie Siravo drives through a factory of people trying to find a “fifth season” but at the same time talking about freelancing. I got the reference but too much was going on. C

Tony Romo “to the max” (Skechers) 

Not a huge fan of this one, especially since I heard Tony Romo talk all game and didn’t really want to hear him again, but this was a lot better than other Sketcher ads. B-

Oikos “ugly face” 

Showing athletes’ faces when working out such as Jalen Hurts, Juju Smith-Schuster, and Chase Young was a  unique idea. B-

“Let’s grab a beer” (Anheuser Busch) 

A more uplifting ad for beer and I think it was a great one. Showing how the phrase “let’s grab a beer” can mean much more was a great angle to take. A-

Tax Loopholes (Turbotax)

Telling people what they can get tax credits for was a great idea for a company like Turbotax. A

Logitech partners with Lil Nas X  

A pretty ordinary commercial but props to Logitech for getting Lil Nas X to do it for them. B

Nick Jonas and Dexcom 

Pretty bland ad but getting Nick Jonas to do it was a pretty good get by Dexcom. C

Weathertech and patriotism 

I feel like everytime I watch a Weathertech commercial they all promote that they’re made in America, so to run the same type of ad was discouraging. C

Jimmy Johns and the Sandwich wars 

Brad Garret was the perfect person to play a “sandwich mob boss.” A

Maya Rudolph pays for boots (Klarna)

So many questions. Why are they riding on tiny horses? Why are the riders small? What is the point of this commercial? And who is Klarna?? D

Indeed “rises up”

One of the more emotional ads of the game, Indeed did a great job capturing what it’s like looking for jobs, no matter who you are. A

Cutting out with Cutwater 

Pretty good scenery shots, but naming your company “Cutwater” is a bit weird when you’re promoting alcohol. C+

Will Ferrel tries to crush Norway (GM)

Anytime Will Ferrel pops up on your TV screen, you usually know it’s going to be funny, and there it was no different here. I’ve never seen a company threaten another country either, but this commercial was hilarious. A+

The story of Jessica Long (Toyota) 

Toyota went with an inspirational ad this time, as they told the inspirational story of Jessica Long and how there’s strength in everybody. B+

Dr.Squatch, for real men. 

I feel like Dr. Squatch took the Old Spice route in how they produce their advertisements, and I have to say they did pretty well. B

We are all investors (Robinhood) 

Bold of Robinhood to tell us “we are all investors” when two weeks ago they literally restricted trading on Gamestop. Also bold of them to even run an ad with the amount of people they screwed over. D+ 

Paramount launches new streaming service 

I think Paramount may have spent more money than any other company combined due to how many commercials they ran. This one was pretty good however, especially with Patrick Stewart and a bunch of characters from popular TV shows . A-

Get back to nature (Bass Pro) 

Amazing shots of the outdoors by Bass Pro, plus a great message gives this one a B+.

Closing the chore gap (Dawn) 

Don’t really understand how they were able to find out that 65% of chores fall on one person, but I like the “better together” message. B-

Joe Montana and Guinness 

Really like the inspirational commercial on how we can all better ourselves. B+

Sesame street DoorDash rap 

Some of the favorites from Sesame Street made this commercial awesome. The song was catchy, and it felt very nostalgic.  A-

Drake from State Farm 

So many stars in this ad: Paul Rudd, Aaron Rodgers, Patrick Mahomes, AND Drake. State Farm never misses on these ads. A

Tracy Morgan “pretty sure” (Rocket Mortgage) 

Had to be reminded that Tracy Morgan still exists, but he nailed this ad with Rocket Mortgage. B

Singing Oatly man

You pay $5 million for a commercial just to have some guy sing an off-beat song that isn’t even catchy? Bold strategy. D

Bruce Springsteen “meet in the middle” (Jeep) 

Great scenic shots and I love the message of uniting ourselves. Don’t really know how it pertains to Jeep but I’ll give it a solid B.

Blake Shelton and Gwynn Stefani on a date (T-Mobile)

T-Mobile did a pretty good job in how they interpreted their good network. It’s a shame how bad of an actress Gwynn Stefani is, however. C+

Travis Kelce and Anthony Anderson (T-Mobile) 

Definitely T-Mobile’s better ad out of the two that they did. Just makes you wonder if Kelce should’ve been practicing more for the Super Bowl than doing a T-Mobile commercial. B

SpaceX encourages us to go to space 

Clearly, SpaceX understands all the issues we have on Earth right now, so this commercial was amazing timing by them. B+

Guaranteed Rate inspirational ad 

Pretty standard commercial here, but I like the inspirational angle that Guaranteed Rate went with. B-

Samuel L. Jackson talks to gamers (Verizon) 

This one was actually one of my more-liked ads on the game because of how Verizon realized all gamers do is complain about how bad their WiFi is. A-

Disney+ promotion 

I would think Disney would have a better approach than this because this commercial felt like every other streaming service promoting their content. C

Vince Lombardi inspirational ad (NFL) 

Last year, the NFL did a more funny and uplifting commercial, while this year they decided to do a more inspirational one. I think they did a pretty good job except for the hologram at the end: I couldn’t even hear what he was saying. B-

NFL social justice 

Out of the two that the NFL did, this one was far better. Great message, great photos and videos, and a promise to spend $250 million for a good cause. A

Super bowl babies (Huggies) 

I feel like every year someone does a “Super Bowl babies” commercial so this was pretty expected. B-

E*trade “Workout” commercial 

What does working out and fixing your finances have in common? Absolutely nothing. D+

Microban disinfectant 

Needed, but not wanted. I nearly fell asleep during this commercial and this was probably the worst one. Although I understand why it was aired, I have to hold it up to the standard of Super Bowl commercials, It’s an F.