Sisters by chance, (not) friends by (their) choice
February 1, 2018
Being in high school and having two older sisters who are both in their 20s is not only strange but an experience that has left me feeling excluded. Being a sister should be fun because you basically have a built-in best friend. In my case though I see myself as the odd man out.
Growing up, I never felt like I wasn’t apart of the sisterhood. It felt like we were all living our own lives and doing our own thing. The occasional fight would happen and teams would form but nothing lasting longer than a couple hours. It wasn’t until Maggie (23) was starting college and Kate (26) just finishing when I realized their friendship was stronger than I’ve ever had with either of them.
The age gap between the three of us doesn’t help the situation. Our common interests are different and the world now is different than it was when they were my age. Because of this fact, I’ve gotten into several fights about college and how to apply because it’s different now than it was seven years ago.
Having sisters or relatives that are older than you can be nice in some situations. When talking about housing or how to make friends in college, to me, their opinions are of high regard. I respect what they have to say and take their advice to heart when it comes to the future or dating. In most situations, I strive to impress and fit in with them.
In November of 2018, Kate is getting married and while I am in the wedding, Maggie is the Maid of Honor. I wasn’t invited to see Kate try on wedding dresses. I understand that the bridesmaids aren’t always invited to come to that sort of stuff but I feel like a sister should be there.
Sometimes when I share stories about my sisters or admit that I don’t have a good relationship with them I feel isolated from my peers that have that opportunity. I get the looks [from teachers as well as students] of pity and sorrow and I just can’t help but stare back at them with tears filling my eyes and pain in my pupils. They muster an “I’m sorry” and I just look down and respond with the same old phrase of “Don’t worry I’ve heard it all before.”
Sisters are supposed to be people that you look up to and admire, not people to fear are going to drag you down.
I miss just being young and having them play house with me or sing me to sleep in my bed. I miss the old them when I could count on them to make me feel like I belonged even if we weren’t friendly all the time. I’d give anything to go back to those times of laughter and love and friendship. Anything to get away from this constant feeling of being a nuisance and unwelcome.
Overall, having a good relationship with your siblings is something that I wish I had and that I think is very important. If you have a good relationship with your siblings, cherish it. It isn’t something that most people have and it truly is a blessing that goes unnoticed.