Ω “You’re just a chunky girl.”
Ω “For your grandparents’ house it’s okay, but not for a hotel.”
Ω “I’m just gonna go home and scrub my nails.”
Ω “You’re talking to someone who is an L4.”
Ω “If my kids turn out to be bullies, I’m returning them.”
Ω “I thought they installed litter boxes for the furries.”
Ω “I don’t gain my consciousness until around nine.”
Ω “Carbondale is the hub for armadillos.”
Ω “My brother kind of looks like Jesus.”
Ω “You know nerds get married too.”
Ω “Those are very cow-looking cows.”
Ω “Is Jewel-Osco selling pineapples the gentrification of bikini bottom?”
Ω “ I don’t like shaped pasta. I don’t want it to feel objectified.”
Ω “He looks like he could be an SNL cast member.”
Ω “I asked for a graphing calculator for Christmas.”
Ω “I have two little bots running around at home.”
Ω “The armadillos have leprosy but I think Jesus cures them.”
Ω “They’ve been on brain break since Wednesday.”
Ω “The events of this weekend made me want to pick up a book.”
Ω “I think I’m going to have an aneurysm”… “Wait until next period.”